Rock 9 - Connecting Meaningfully With Others

We're wired to connect

It’s clear from our neural architecture’s design we need to connect socially and emotionally with others every day.  Our nearest and dearest enable us to explore our experience, thinking things through and to feel connected, understood and seen.

The Zulu language captures this notion perfectly in their habitual greeting.  Instead of hello they say; “Sawubona” which literally means “I see you.”    Being seen by others, having our worth validated through mutual connection and love is as human as opposable thumbs and walking on two legs.

Some of the strongest evidence for why our brains got so big so quickly is that living in larger social groups demanded much more cognitive bandwidth.  To keep track of everyone in the tribe, to make sure we were getting on well with people and to maintain a weather-eye on relationships we needed much more cognitive equipment.  The rapid expansion of our pre-frontal cortex seems to have been all about our ancestors living in larger and larger groups.  We are wired to be connect and work co-operatively with other people, when we do that our brain rewards us with positive feelings and a good mood.

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